Being Vulnerable Is Important

There’s a certain beauty in seeing someone be their most vulnerable self. Crying over a glass of wine in college one weekend, I learned quickly that showing friends my real self was something that would bond us together for a lifetime. Wherever those people are now, I will never forget how they bore their souls to me and I to them so that we would be heard and understood. I think about that night a lot, especially when I am afraid to be vulnerable in my business.


As a woman living in a bigger body who coaches other women on how to love themselves, I am constantly worried about what people think. This worry, called a chatter brain, consumes me somedays starting from what I decide to wear to work that day all the way to catching a glimpse in my mirror of the huge zit on my chin. Although it’s gotten better over time, I have found that vulnerability sets me free from the worry. Let me explain.


Vulnerability is described as the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of judgment, attack, or harm. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?


So why is it so important if the connotations around it are scary? Because being vulnerable helps others be vulnerable. In a world where everyone expresses vulnerability, where would the fear hide?


The other important reason is representation. Growing up, I never saw women with bodies like mine on social media. Trying to take up less space was the cool thing to do. Because of that, I grew up in the toxic diet culture plagued by never being good enough. It wasn’t until 2014 when I saw Tess Holiday, a plus size model, grace my timeline looking FINE AS HELL that I realized that there was nothing wrong with having a bigger body. She was vulnerable and real and raw. That’s what I needed to see.


To the women and girls out there that might be afraid to be vulnerable, I get it. I totally get it. But here’s the thing: no one has ever accomplished anything important inside their comfort zone. I challenge you to get vulnerable and tell your story to others. You never know who might need to hear it.

Em Carruthers